diving into my fears

Cried myself to sleep last night...

What started out as a wild rush of kundalini energy, quickly slipped into frustration, then sadness.

I curled into my bed, hugging myself as a heart felt cry poured out of me.

When I witnessed the sadness arise, initially I felt is stemmed from loneliness. Overwhelmed by trying to do everything on my own.

Then I watched disappointment creep in. I’m not nearly at the place I intended to be at by now, but I can admit that I haven’t been giving it my all.

Then.. I locked eyes with fear. Fear of what’s to come. Sensing the end of one chapter arriving and I’m yet to know how the next one will go.

How will I support myself? Where am I going? What’s next?

I may not have a concrete answer for any of these questions yet, but I sure as hell can recognize when fear’s sneaking in and whispering to me worse case scenarios. When my mantra has been ‘Everything is working out best case scenario!” Thanks to Heather, @activationvibration on Instagram, and her divine reminders.

What if... this next chapter is everything I’ve been calling in? What if I befriend my fears and walk confidently into the next level of myself? What if what I believe is scary, is actually my souls greatest fulfillment? What if what I’m feeling is more excitement than it is fear?

The more I dive into my fears, the more work I realize is to be done with my inner child. Still locking herself into the cages of fear in moments of change, an innocent little girl learning to surrender fully. Afraid of the dark, the mysterious unknown...

So I take her hand and remind her it’s safe. I remind her that we have everything we need within us.

I reveal to her the Divine Masculine, and Inner Father, that exist in harmony within the symbiotic vessel we exist as in this life. Alongside the Divine Feminine, and Sacred Mother, offering to us eternal nurturing.

We no longer need to reach for external security, or comfort. We can awaken to our wholeness within and support ourselves on our own. On our own in the most physical sense, while invisibly supported by thousands of angels, guides and realms of higher light.

We are safe now. It’s time we walk courageously into the light. Grabbing hold of any fear along the way and welcoming them with us as we ascend to a higher version of reality.