Is this the rupture?
Is this my heart breaking so wide open I can hardly hold onto the life it gives me?
I can’t put into words the pain I feel in my chest. I can hardly process the disgust I feel with myself...
How can I be so insensitive? How can I throw away the single best thing that’s ever happened to me? How can I be so selfish I forget to acknowledge the ones who’ve done nothing but show me the most unconditional love?
How can I preach so much light yet be so cruel? How...
Do I listen to the voice who wants to blame my upbringings? My environment? My influencers?
No. We come into ourselves and take responsibility. We come back to love.
I only acted from my level of awareness. In those moments I didn’t know any better. I was still learning. Still a naive little girl. Lost in a world of her own she forgets to acknowledge how deeply her actions affect others.
Will she learn this time?
Considering the pain in my chest, I sure as hell hope so. How many times are we going to do this?
Well to start - forgive yourself. Feel into all you’ve become. Thank yourself for having the awareness to even realize this and take it as an opportunity to expand.
Feel into the pain. Collapse into the heart break. You’re a big soul trying to figure out the life of a human in its limited capacities. You’re still learning. There’s still so many obstacles, heart break, ruptures to be experienced. There is beauty in it all. Even though you may not be able to see it yet. There is beauty in it all. All holds within it keys, each unlocking a new level of awareness.
Let yourself be here. You chose to be right here for a divine purpose. This is your soul learning. Learn through the pressure. Witness it’s only shaping you into the diamond you are.
It’s okay, beloved. I know you forget... a lot.. but you are whole and perfect just as you are.
You are whole and perfect just as you are.
Cry. Let everything that is not aligned to this truth flow out of you. Let it rupture you from the inside out. Let it wash away all that is not of the highest so you can return once more and realize the space you made to let more of your souls light in.